Just a little of everything

Its been a few days since I blogged. I have been trying to get off the pc and get other interests. You know broaden my horizen, get off my lazy ass, and do something new. Well it hasn't worked out. I have been a green shade the past week. I had good days and then just knock me over, stick me in a hole and beat the crap out of me day. In between those days I had 3 nights that I had a total of 6 hours sleep. I have insomnia and usually take a little something something to sleep.
I got all the Christmas shopping done, except grass. I still don't know yet if we are getting each other something this year or not. I usual do whether he does or not because I like the excitement. You know wrapping the gift and hiding it and then the surprise. But this year is so tuff.
The other night we went to Grass's company Christmas party. I had 2 strawberry Margarita's, nicely paced. Unlike someone that tore into Grass for 45 minutes. She was toast. Kept repeating the same crap over and over again. "You have the power now, use it", "I am behind you 150%", and "Get samples". I felt so bad for Grass. He just kept saying "Yes, I understand. uhuh, ok". It will be interesting if he see's her at work today and what if anything she has to say to him.
I am a little nervous like usual about going home, my Dad and I don't get along well. He says and does things that are uncalled for and doesn't care who he offends or hurts. Everytime I see him he does this. The last time we went to visit, I was entering the security area at the airport and he made a comment. "Do I get a hug". I of course replied " I was about to as soon as I put my bags through". He then bent over, hugged me and whispered in my ear "Jenn, Please, if you loose all that wieght I will send you $1000.00 in cash", released his grip, smiled and winked as I walked astonished into the secure area. All I could think was, I am getting on a plane one year almost to the date after 9/11, a plane that may crash, and it may be the last time you see or talk to me and this is what you say. No safe trip, I love you, we will miss you, thanks for coming, you know the routine speach you give to a guest that has come to visit or a loved one. I know it sounds dramatic. Thats how I feel though in times when you are leaving somone. You know, make sure you leave on a good note, because it might be the last. I'm not saying make yourself sick over remembering to do this, I just try to make it a habit. Example, Grass or I leave, we say we love each other and see ya soon. Just in case. Anyhow that is how my dad is. I know I can't change him, I accept it. It is just difficult to deal with. I don't deal with it well. I am older and feel the need to stand up for myself or others he offends. I need to just shake it off and laugh. I need to think to myself, what a pathetic sad soul he must have. Something will come around and bite him back someday. Not terrible, just a little nibble, for him to respond with "What the Mother F$#& is that?"
Well I have a few things to clean up in the house and a hot shower to take. So all of you traveling, in this wind, good luck, stay safe, warm and happy.