Peaceful but now at war
Sister in law and the kids arrived safely. Met them at the store and they followed me up to the house. Grass met up with us a few minutes later. All was calm.. We had some lunch, talked a little and joked a lot. The past never came up except when joking about childhood stories. It was nice and a relief. Sister went to Grandma's and we had the kids. I took the girls shopping and grass had the boy. Well leave it to boys to end up at the Urgency Care. Our nephew decided to kiss the tire of the three wheeler, which he shouldn't have been riding alone in my opinion. Which doesn't seem to matter in this house anyway. So us girls met the boys and got our nephew all cleaned up and we decided to go to Garcia's. Got a few movies and went home. Kids got their x-mas gifts early and we all had a good time. Brought them back to Grandma's and chatted a little more.
We promised Grandma we would help her Tuesday. We usually get over once a week and get stuff done all together and spend time with her. I hate making promises I can't keep and I try to remember them. Well, Grass came home last night and said, I should say he ordered rudely. "Tuesday is all mine to do as I please". Geeze he didn't have to be rude and snotty about it. I ignored it and said ok. Then grandma called today and reminded me about Tuesday, I said of course. I didn't mention Grass made other plans. I just let him know after I got off the phone that he had made a promise. So what does he do, he flips out on me. For Fuck sakes. I didn't do anything wrong. He's is the one that made plans and then other plans on top of each other. Damn, I don't get him, he has one family member he gets along with and always gripes that he has no family but he doesn't wana take one day a week for that person. All he thinks about is this damn pc and games on it. It fucking pisses me off, he doesn't appreciate what he has in life, he just looks negative at it. I have no family here. NONE. It costs me .19 cents a minute to talk to my family. I gave up all my friends back home because I couldn't afford to talk to them. I see only my parents maybe if I am lucky every 2 years and I have one Grandparent left I don't get to see. I realize he doesn't have a mother and the father he has is estranged from. But the more the reason to appreciate those you do have in life. You can't be picky. So now he is in a pissy mood because he doesn't know what to do. He wanted to be done at Grandma's by noon. I just made the comment that, it is usually an all day thing and he knows it. She is old and slow and likes to take her time and have lunch together. I don't care he can do what ever the fuck he thinks is more important.
Then this morning I was a little slow moving, my mouth has been killing me, and I did some exercises and then rested a bit. I decided to go outside and move the swing, bbq and chairs and tarp them up. Grass asked If I needed helped and answered yes kindly. So we move the stuff, I went to go get the tarp and he starts burning the ground outside of the barrel for something to do. What the fuck!!! Whatever, I try to get this tarp that is like 72 by 100 or some thing, it is for covering hey if that lets you know how big it is. Not the easiest fucking thing to maneuver on your own, but hey, grass is playing with fire and fucking off so I have to do on my own anyway.
So I start and the fucking wind starts blowing. I swear I was being punished for something. I would get it all into place over the swing bbq and chairs and then started over the shed (its leaking), and away the damn tarp went, on its way to china. So while I am grunting and cursing at this tarp along with wrestling it, what is grass doing, NOTHING but watching me. Oh I know its funny for men reading this, it is fucking typical of you all. Well of course I get even angrier when I see he is standing there staring at the ground while I'm freaking out. I was mostly freaking out because everything I screw something up I am always reminded about it showed how much I screwed up. But If I dare try to do something on my own its either 2 things, NO YOU CAN"T DO THAT!!, or you are doing it wrong. So each time I go to do something that runs through my fucking head, trying harder and harder to please, but never succeeding, just screwing up. Finally he comes over and yells at me "IF YOU CALM DOWN I WILL HELP YOU. Ya, like I am going to fucking calm down right then and there as ordered. I just have an off and on switch. So I say, HOW NICE, YOU COULD SEE FROM THE BEGINNING I WAS HAVING TROUBLE, BEFORE I GOT PISSED OFF, WHY DIDN'T YOU OFFER THEN? His reply was, "I have a fire to watch". Well if you would have left the damn fire in the barrel instead of fucking off and playing with it on the ground you wouldn't have to watch it now. Did I say that no. He just kept on me that I should calm down and blabbb blabbb about he does nothing wrong and I am a fuck up.
So I got a ladder and climbed on top of the fucking shed. Yes me afraid of heights. Fuck, you get me mad enough I will do just about anything. Maybe that's how I could loose weight. Anyhow, I get on the roof and get the tarp and have to take my shoes off and put them on the tarp to hold the son of a bitch in place. Fuck I have never use one this big, I didn't think it would take a fucking monkey guiniass to work it. So anyhow I tie the fucker down with twine, what else to you use? And I then decided that the mowing deck should be in the shed, out of the way. So I take the ATV and go in the garage and lift and maneuver this son of a 4000 lbs piece of shit onto the back of the ATV while screaming. For some reason you are somewhat quite a bit stronger when grunting as you lift. WIRED or just in my head, don't answer that. Grass hears me and just walks in as if everything is just fine and trys to take over without saying anything, and like a woman I snap back "I DON'T NEED YOU". I got it on there and out of the garage and in the shed. Not where I wanted it, but I had enough. I took the ATV and took a ride up the hill and just screamed. It didn't help and either is this blogging. I am so mad, I just want a smoke.
Can I, no, because it would be selfish. Hmmm thinking about more then myself, what a concept and revelation?
We promised Grandma we would help her Tuesday. We usually get over once a week and get stuff done all together and spend time with her. I hate making promises I can't keep and I try to remember them. Well, Grass came home last night and said, I should say he ordered rudely. "Tuesday is all mine to do as I please". Geeze he didn't have to be rude and snotty about it. I ignored it and said ok. Then grandma called today and reminded me about Tuesday, I said of course. I didn't mention Grass made other plans. I just let him know after I got off the phone that he had made a promise. So what does he do, he flips out on me. For Fuck sakes. I didn't do anything wrong. He's is the one that made plans and then other plans on top of each other. Damn, I don't get him, he has one family member he gets along with and always gripes that he has no family but he doesn't wana take one day a week for that person. All he thinks about is this damn pc and games on it. It fucking pisses me off, he doesn't appreciate what he has in life, he just looks negative at it. I have no family here. NONE. It costs me .19 cents a minute to talk to my family. I gave up all my friends back home because I couldn't afford to talk to them. I see only my parents maybe if I am lucky every 2 years and I have one Grandparent left I don't get to see. I realize he doesn't have a mother and the father he has is estranged from. But the more the reason to appreciate those you do have in life. You can't be picky. So now he is in a pissy mood because he doesn't know what to do. He wanted to be done at Grandma's by noon. I just made the comment that, it is usually an all day thing and he knows it. She is old and slow and likes to take her time and have lunch together. I don't care he can do what ever the fuck he thinks is more important.
Then this morning I was a little slow moving, my mouth has been killing me, and I did some exercises and then rested a bit. I decided to go outside and move the swing, bbq and chairs and tarp them up. Grass asked If I needed helped and answered yes kindly. So we move the stuff, I went to go get the tarp and he starts burning the ground outside of the barrel for something to do. What the fuck!!! Whatever, I try to get this tarp that is like 72 by 100 or some thing, it is for covering hey if that lets you know how big it is. Not the easiest fucking thing to maneuver on your own, but hey, grass is playing with fire and fucking off so I have to do on my own anyway.
So I start and the fucking wind starts blowing. I swear I was being punished for something. I would get it all into place over the swing bbq and chairs and then started over the shed (its leaking), and away the damn tarp went, on its way to china. So while I am grunting and cursing at this tarp along with wrestling it, what is grass doing, NOTHING but watching me. Oh I know its funny for men reading this, it is fucking typical of you all. Well of course I get even angrier when I see he is standing there staring at the ground while I'm freaking out. I was mostly freaking out because everything I screw something up I am always reminded about it showed how much I screwed up. But If I dare try to do something on my own its either 2 things, NO YOU CAN"T DO THAT!!, or you are doing it wrong. So each time I go to do something that runs through my fucking head, trying harder and harder to please, but never succeeding, just screwing up. Finally he comes over and yells at me "IF YOU CALM DOWN I WILL HELP YOU. Ya, like I am going to fucking calm down right then and there as ordered. I just have an off and on switch. So I say, HOW NICE, YOU COULD SEE FROM THE BEGINNING I WAS HAVING TROUBLE, BEFORE I GOT PISSED OFF, WHY DIDN'T YOU OFFER THEN? His reply was, "I have a fire to watch". Well if you would have left the damn fire in the barrel instead of fucking off and playing with it on the ground you wouldn't have to watch it now. Did I say that no. He just kept on me that I should calm down and blabbb blabbb about he does nothing wrong and I am a fuck up.
So I got a ladder and climbed on top of the fucking shed. Yes me afraid of heights. Fuck, you get me mad enough I will do just about anything. Maybe that's how I could loose weight. Anyhow, I get on the roof and get the tarp and have to take my shoes off and put them on the tarp to hold the son of a bitch in place. Fuck I have never use one this big, I didn't think it would take a fucking monkey guiniass to work it. So anyhow I tie the fucker down with twine, what else to you use? And I then decided that the mowing deck should be in the shed, out of the way. So I take the ATV and go in the garage and lift and maneuver this son of a 4000 lbs piece of shit onto the back of the ATV while screaming. For some reason you are somewhat quite a bit stronger when grunting as you lift. WIRED or just in my head, don't answer that. Grass hears me and just walks in as if everything is just fine and trys to take over without saying anything, and like a woman I snap back "I DON'T NEED YOU". I got it on there and out of the garage and in the shed. Not where I wanted it, but I had enough. I took the ATV and took a ride up the hill and just screamed. It didn't help and either is this blogging. I am so mad, I just want a smoke.
Can I, no, because it would be selfish. Hmmm thinking about more then myself, what a concept and revelation?
posted by Kinipeli at
12:36 PM
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