Where can I drop my thoughts off?

Well my mind has been racing again. No surprise there. I have been told over and over again it is normal due to the upcoming events. I know it is normal, I just wish there was someone to listen, just so I could get it off my chest, out of my mind and have some peace. I am terrified of labor. Mostly because my MOTHER is going to be there and she doesn't believe in pain. Extreme pain to her is mild discomfort. My mother has been through a lot in her life, both physical and emotional. She has no patients for someone whining about pain. So how am I suppose to look to her for support while in labor if all I will here is "buck up, you ain't felt pain until you have walked in my shoes". I love my Mom but damn as she gets older, she looses her nurturing ways. I really do admirer her for going through what she has though. I am so scared I won't be able to handle any of the labor. I HATE PAIN, I will run as far away from it as I can. I am a wimp and will never try to hide it.
I am also really scared that I won't be any good at being a mother. Grass is always asking me if I will love the baby. That freaks me out, there must be something wrong with me if he is asking that kind of question. What if I can't do it, what if I can't do any of it. What if he comes out and I have no feelings what so ever. I have learned a really bad habit of trying not to feel anything and not to talk about it. I'm not mushy like I thought and what Grass thinks I should be. Does this mean I will have PPD? What if I do, Lord I do not need anymore problems in my life, I have enough. I just want this baby to come out and for Grass and I to love him or her and each other. But what if I can't do that. What if.... What if..... What if.... I can't even express myself. I don't know how to put what I am thinking or feeling into words, or I am to scared to put them in to words....